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gothicgamergirl
25 September 2007 @ 05:43 pm
Lately the air has smelled like Fall and firewood and full moon. At night there is such beauty to be seen around me, though I feel a bit outside of it all at the moment.

Life crawls by. Things seem to keep moving so quickly, there never seems to be enough time. Next week it will be October already and I'm not ready for the chaos that is October yet, though I think there will be less trips than usual due to lack of finances and job hunting. Most of my traveling seems to be internal as of late, reevaluating and redefining my life and where I want it to be moving. At times that leaves me quiet and distant from the world around me.

I saw Resident Evil 3 last Sunday with Mark, 2.0, Jer, Jeff, Danny and Timmy. It was cute, a zombie love story with a level of Doom at the end. They always kill off my favorite characters though... Maybe that says something about me.

Heroes last night. I only saw three episodes of the first season but it's hard to avoid the show being around so many addicts. It still feels like an X-Men rip off to me. I really like one of the characters they introduced last night though, the Ronin from England. He reminds me a lot of Gemmell's Morningstar novel. New House episode tonight which will help my sanity (work has been taxing it lately). New Ghost Hunters tomorrow night. TV three nights in a row, that will be fairly novel since I even only use my TV for the gaming consoles.
 
 
Current Mood: blahblah
 
 
gothicgamergirl
10 September 2007 @ 06:31 pm
This is how you keep the darkness at bay, this is how you do not become the monster: you feed the light.

Do nice things for others. Be the friend you would like others to be to you. Stay firm and know when to say no and do not tolerate lines being crossed, but other than that give yourself freely. When you need, take time for yourself. Don't exhaust yourself to running on empty. Do one good thing for you and you alone each day.

Yesterday I carved the pumpkin I bought the day John and I went out. He's sitting on my alter grinning at me, reminding me that there's always light to be found.
 
 
Current Mood: busybusy
 
 
gothicgamergirl
05 September 2007 @ 08:32 pm
Life doesn't happen in neat little packages. It is chaotic and messy and uncontrollable. Think of the best thing that's happened in your life...the sincerely best thing that when you think of it you can't help but smile, that makes you warm straight through. Did you plan it? Did you try? Did it go anything like you thought? Of course not.

You can't force conditions on life, or on people. You can't say "I'm your friend as long as X, Y and Z." Real connections have no limitations. They will care for you and be with you regardless of mood or sanity level. You will feel them watching your back or giving you the space to live your life even if you're apart from them.

No conditions. No defenses. No fear. Only honesty. And never having to say sorry.

Last night I slept in His arms, safe and protected from thoughts I wasn't ready to deal with yet. Tonight, though miles away, He'll still be next to my heart.
 
 
Current Mood: pensivepensive
 
 
gothicgamergirl
02 September 2007 @ 07:52 pm
Oh my god, this is the cutest, sweetest thing....

 
 
Current Mood: lovedawwww
 
 
gothicgamergirl
23 August 2007 @ 07:37 pm
There are worse things than being alone.

People who are truly my friends would never cause me to hurt, they would shield me from it. They would accept and support my choices regardless of if they agree. They wouldn't alienate me for them.

You can do the right thing for the wrong reason (most people do) but the wrong thing can never be done for the right reason. The ends don't justify the means.

Despite what the world wants and expects of me, I'm free to be whatever *I* want. If I want to be a gypsy living out of a trunk right now than I damn well will be.

Reset.

Stop being so soft. Stop making allowances for people because they are "only human." I am "only human" too. That I feel empathy should not feel like a weapon everyone else wields against me.

I will not be manipulated ever again in any way.

I can't do anything wrong with my life because it is *my* life. My rules.

There are worse things than being alone.

I'm not alone.
 
 
Current Mood: indescribableindescribable
 
 
 
gothicgamergirl
19 August 2007 @ 04:33 pm
Fall is coming. The Halloween candy is out, monster movies are starting to take over weekend tv again and it's not killing me to wear long sleeves. These things make me happy.

I saw Stardust Friday night. It didn't quite have the same feel as the book but I liked it none the less, a lot actually. I wish so much of the fey stuff hadn't been taken out. War comes out this coming Friday, that I'm looking forward to seeing.

My gaming group is starting up a Serenity run, I'm a reader companion...that should be interesting :)

I have not had enough WOW time in weeks. Still need to type up a couple of short stories I wrote recently too so most likey it'll be a while before I see WOW again.

Work has been killing me, but it should get better soon and (hopefully) they will approve my Halloween week vacation.

I need coffee....lots of coffee. I hate not even having a dollar to my name for the week.
 
 
gothicgamergirl
13 August 2007 @ 09:26 pm
"The US healthcare system stinks; friendship's important; sex is never that simple; and cats do whatever the fuck they want to.
That's all. Thank you, drive safely, use a condom. Don't make too much noise leaving."
 
 
gothicgamergirl
07 August 2007 @ 08:16 pm
Ummm...... Hannibal shouldn't see this......

 
 
Current Mood: amusedamused
 
 
gothicgamergirl
07 August 2007 @ 02:35 pm
This is possibly the most awesome thing in the world :)



 
 
Current Mood: amusedamused
 
 
gothicgamergirl
06 August 2007 @ 09:21 pm
It's funny. I started this thing because I suck at emailing, calling, just generally staying in touch and as of late, I've not been posting here either.

I've had lots of thoughts but few words as of late, or at least few words that I want to share. I guess I'm processing a lot. I've been creating more, feeding my artistic half but my human relation skills are kind of in the gutter (and they've never been that great to begin with). Some people are closer and dearer to me than ever, others have acted in ways that I can't forgive, that I can't make excuses for. It's sad, it seems like such a waste. That people can have good in them but act in ways to feed the worst in them...

I went to the Ocean Friday. It helped heal something in me to watch the water and feel the ocean breeze. I saw some amazing lightening on the way home. Saturday I made a new WOW toon (an undead warrior) and had the brilliant idea to wander around in the woods without a flashlight for an hour and a half at one in the morning. It was cold, in fact I think I might have a little bit of a cold now. That or 7 am was just too much to ask my body to deal with this morning...that's completely possible too. On that note...since work sucked today....

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Current Mood: angryangry